Envy

Dear stranger, i would kill to look like you.

Mobile

I dont really have a word to describe how i feel at the moment. I feel like i could be sick, but its the feeling of butterflies in my tummy, yet im perfectly well. I could sleep, but im not particularly tired, i could go out but i dont really want to see anyone, i want a cuddle but i dont want contact. Im excited and worried, but i dont really care about anything all at the same time. I feel like "blah" impersonated.

Prowl

Today is not a happy blog, not a sad one either, just a sick and tired one. I have genuinly had enough of everything.

Today at work not only was i perved on by a random man of indian pursuasion, using the phrase "your chest is nice" to depart with, the song Perfect 10 by The Beautiful South came on. Since that song has been on, all i have been able to think about is how fucking untrue it is. Complete and utter bollocks. No-one wants a size 12, or a size 10. Unless your super skinny and have perfect hair, you are destined to spend ahell of alot of time alone. I am totally and utterly fed up of the way i look. It's just totally not alright anymore. I refuse to just accept that im not one of the pretty skinny girls. I will get skinny if i die trying. Me and food are officially divorced, and i even whacked out the ol' 30 minuites a day work out dvd. Lets not even get started on my hair either. Black, what the hell am i thinking? Im not 13 anymore, the emo/goff look isnt cool anymore, and it wasnt then, and god knows what posessed me to dye it this atrocios colour. And my skin, im yellow. No joke. Grim. Grim. Grim.

Also, i basically just got called a slag by my dad. Which is always a wonderful way to end and already amazingly lame day.

In better news, i told my parents i smoke. They took it supprisingly well.
Other highlights and lowlights of the say included;

Working all day and it being dead all day, creepy men, not having spoken to woody all day therefore having no way to vent my emotion and no cuddles, cotching at georges and having mega cuddles* before his friends turned up**, being called a slag, not having any tea, lacking in money, finding out i have to work everyday this week, including the bank holiday, people ruining what had the potential to be a mood of the day changing experience and having to wake up in 6 hours.

*this actually was a highlight
**until this happened and i felt really socially awkward.

Sega

Nothing to report today.
Except that i discovered a new found love for near ibbling. Thats ear nibbling in lamens terms.

Ordinary

I think you're wonderful.

Farmville

"hey sexxxxyyyy."

I just gave woody the link to this blog, only person other than isa that ive ever done that too, im quite aprehensive haha. I suppose it can only be a good thing. Ive been instructed to post our only photo ever on here, so;

Can you see the love? :)

Anyhow, more pressing issues. Im sorry, but you are not a sister to me. I know the only reason you added me on facebook is because russell probably told you too. I care about the lot of you about as much as i care for rain so stop being all like i miss you i want to see you. Where the hell was russell when i ran away from home at 14 and rang him crying trying to get him to help me. Fucking nowhere. "I cant come im at work." Proper father you are. Maybe its the fact that you have never been there for me, or maybe its that fact that your a violent self obsessed manipulative human being that makes me dislike you, or maybe im just unforgiving, either way, i would appreciate if you all left me alone. Granted i know you will never read this, but i can quite happily say i would tell you this all to your face if i wasnt so disgusted by you.

ps. mega money making scheme, but shhhh i cant share with anyone.

Bones

Standing by a broken tree, her hands are all twisted. She's pointing at me. I was damned by light coming over, as see she spoke with a voice that dissrupted the sky, she said "Hold on lover, don't be ashamed I will wrap you in my arms and you'll know you're safe."

Changing.

I remember the day i took this photo, Brighton beach, 2006. This was the time where my parents decided that they wanted to move away from here and head to the seaside. I had never been so scared in my life, everything about the prospect terrified me, yet the excitement was overwhelming. Thankfully it all fell through and i never left good old H' town. It's quite funny how different things were in 2006, but i wouldnt change how things are now for anything in the world. Im like, the happiest i've ever been. It's funny how people change, im not half the person i was 3 years ago, and im not half the person i will be in 3 years. Close friends are now an aggrivating waste of time and people who i never thought i'd be close with are amazing friends. Ex-boyfriends are best friends, and best friends got boyfriends. Facebook has taken over Myspace and short hair got long. Quiet people are louder, and the loud people are still annoying and things are still changing.

Im having the time of my life.

Cocktail

I finially have that feeling of complete content. I've got a job, and finially a stable group of friends who like me for me and look out for me. Its nice to have that again.

Carefree

No-body deserves to feel lonely, but those drugs you got wont make you feel better.

Love

I love your pretty smile, I love your style, I love to be able to see that you are glamourous from a mile. I love the way you look, I love the way you cook, I spend alot of hours watching your pictures on the facebook. I love to buy you flowers, I love our hot showers, I can watch you sleeping for hours and hours, I love the way you dance, the way you shake that ass, but the thing I love the most is coming on your face. Suck it bitch.

Emotion is overrated.

Oh and, Dear male species, i totally dig your unnatural ability to anger me in every way.

A*

Do i stress you out? My sweater is on backwards and inside out and you say "how appropriate."

It's finially that fateful day that most 17-18 year olds have been dreading for the last 8 months. Results day. I would happily share my results with the world, had i had the stability to stay in sixthform or collage for more than 3 months before sucessfully dropping out and being a bum. I am destined to work in voda for the rest of my life.

Boats and Birds

If you'll be my star, i'll be your sky, you can hide underneath me and come out at night, when I turn jet black and you show of your light, I live to let you shine, and you can sky rocket away from me, and never come back if you find another galaxy far from here, with more room to fly, just leave me your stardust to remember you by.
I would love to have my own personal moon, just one all for myself. One thats always there when i need some light, or something to look up to, or something to wish on.

You know the kind of parent that wants to live through you, yet when you want to do your own thing its not allowed, the kind of parent where, it doesnt matter how good your day was, or how happy you are when you come home, within 10 minuites, they have obliterated any happiness and drained you, yeah, thats my parents.

Earl Grey

I am the mad hatter, I can have my cake and eat it.

Bubblegum and Cotton Candy

Finding lost Barry M nailvarnish has officially made my life complete, but on a more serious note, i have recently had the sudden realisation that i am losing one of my best friends, this isnt intentional, and it certainly isnt anyones fault, i still love him to pieces, and i know he still loves me, but with with his upcoming relationship with someone who shall remain unnamed, and my strengthened bond with an old friend, we have kinda drifted our seperate ways, and my god do i miss him. Now by no means am i trying to replace said friend, as i have been accused of recently by various outsiders. It just so happens that things have worked out like this, kind of a strange coincidence. As for people having an opinion on the matter, i really dont care all that much.

I do miss our tea dates more than anything though and that feeling of being totally comfortable with someone. But i suppose he will have tea dates with her, and i'll learn to feel entirely comfortable with my friend, saying that, i already i do. I dont know what it is about that kid, i think i just know im safe around him, he makes me feel comfortable and cared for. He's the kind of person i know i can run crying too and he would comfort me not laugh casue my hairs gone curly or my makeups run. The kind of person i dont need to run and fix my face with after waking up the morning after a messy night. The kind of person who i know likes me for me, nothing more, nothing less. Although obviously i will never tell him any of this because he will think im soppy and girly, but deep down i think he knows he means alot to me, atleast, i hope he does.

ps, i need this bag.

Bonjour.

Due to my amazing talent at forgetting everything, i totally forgot this blog existed until a good friend of mine was telling me i should start a blog after i made the announcement that i was going to purchase one new thing a week. Suffice to say, that went well to start and then my workplace decided they wanted to ruin my life and havent been paying me. But alas, here is attempt two at keeping a good blog.

Dear Betsy, thank you for bringing this beaut into my life, from now on i will never have to draw a brio watch on and have the time constantly set to 10 past mole.