mindfuck

'We fell down so many times, I think I'm tired of thinking everything will work out - well it finially all worked out - but its not the same. Everything has changed, although it won't appeat that way, and the future can't be worked out. No, it never has been worked out.'

I will wait forever for you if that's how long it takes.

jokes

http://www.formspring.me/reneeettles

This could end fairly grimout haha.

summerboy.

So, im sitting alone, in my best friends room while hes out, and yet i know hes not here but just being in here is comforting. I've been disgustingly grim to him the last 2 days due to psm-ing and other general dire situations and I feel terrible cause he's only ever nice to me. For example, he cancelled going out and doing something to be with me cause he knows I needed him. Note to self, show more appreciation.

Gone.

It's taken this to make me realise just how easily things slip through your fingers. One minuite you're here and the next you're gone. Sudden death syndrome I think they called it, or a heart attack, I dont think anyone really knows, i dont think it matters. More than anything else im feeling at the moment, im angry. Angry at myself for letting us drift appart, angry that I never put in enough effort to see you more often, especially as we used to talk all the time. I'm sorry for that and i know you cant read this, but, i am, i am sorry that i didn't see you more. It's disgusting how much im going to miss our pet names, and your sense of humour, and you. Just you.

Fate fell short this time, your smile fades in the summer, place your hand in mine, i'll leave when i wanna.

Shame

I thought i was over this, apparently not. It scares me how comforting it was staring into the toilet bowl again. It's just the sound that gets me, god i hate that sound, and the watery eyes and the need to brush my teeth like 200 times when im done.

Ive got more determination than i've ever had in my life. I will get what i want if it kills me.